


My loneliness is killing you

by poppynightin



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian AU, Lesbian Sex, Murder AU, Murder Wives, Smut, Strap-Ons, cis girl au, mentioned domestic violence, read the trigger warnings, they're very horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppynightin/pseuds/poppynightin
Summary: "I could kill him," Katya murmured while her finger was circling a deep blue bruise on Violets arm."Maybe you should," Violet said."Maybe I will." There was no joking tone in Katya's voice. Violet looked up from her shoulder."You're not serious."(How to Get away with Murder trophy wife style.)Trigger warnings: mentioned murder, mentioned/implied abuse, verbal abuse, mentioned domestic violence, mentioned alcoholism, corrupting another with drugs, implied rape, mentioned human trafficking, mentioned underaged prostitution (more will be added as the story moves along)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Someone pointed out to me how Violet and Katya at Drag Con looked like they killed their rich husbands and are now together and I needed to write it. Feedback is always welcome xx
> 
> (Their husbands are named after real life assholes)

**After**

Violet walked out of the court building. They had done it. They really had done it. She couldn't believe it. She wanted to scream out of joy but she had to pretend that she was still heartbroken while the cameras were flashing. The case had made its way through all the newspapers: ‘founders of rivaling companies found dead on the same day under mysterious circumstances.'

Violet wanted nothing more than to look at Katya and to celebrate their victory but she couldn't do that while the cameras were still directed at them and while they still had to pretend to dislike each other. She briefly looked at her though when the blonde got into the back of her car that was parked in front of Violet’s. It was ridiculous for them to each take their own car, considering that they were staying at the same hotel but she preferred to be safe just in case police officers were still following their every step or one of their drives decided to tell on them.She had killed her husband and gotten away with it and in a weird way it made her proud. She had been in custody up until a week ago, which had to be expected and her and Katya had prepared carefully for it, but it still had been scary and she had doubted that their plan would work out in the end.  
But then their finale coup had gone through just in time. The video of Katya’s husband David making a move on Violet had ultimately risen to the surface and gave Violet’s husband Christian the motive the police had been looking for. All of this had been planned right down to the last detail of course. They had managed to make it look like their husbands had killed each other. Two years of careful planning had been worth it. None of this would've been possible if the police wouldn't have had underestimated both Katya and Violet so drastically though. They didn't think that two woman could be capable of such a gruesome act. For once social injustice had worked in Violet’s favor. But she wouldn't have been able to pull any off that off without Katya. Katya whom she could now finally be happy with.  
__

**Before**

It was a warm summer day and Violet was not dressed to be dining outside when it was this hot. Her make up would be melting off, her corset would be digging painfully into her rips and she would not be able to eat much while she was wearing it this tightly. But Christian had insisted on her wearing it. Either that or she would not be allowed to go on the girls trip with Courtney he was paying for. So Violet had obeyed. Like she always did. This was bound to be another boring business dinner and Violet knew that the only reason for Christian insisting on her coming was so that the other men would envy him of having married a beautiful, obedient girl 30 years younger than himself. Violet had been blinded by all the money and glamour that would be attached to a life with Christian. So she had said yes after the man she had only known for three months had asked her to marry him. She didn't know him well but he would be able to provide for her and was buying her expensive gifts and that still was better than any love Violet had ever known.

She let her eyes wander over the attendees when she spotted an unfamiliar face. Well not entirely unfamiliar, she knew who Katya Zamolodchikova was of course, she just had never seen her in person. She was a celebrity amongst the trophy wives, an ex-prostitute from Russia and the only one to keep her own name whilst marrying an elite member. This meant that Katya’s husband, David, must also be amongst the guests which meant bad news since he was Christian’s biggest rival. But that was not for Violet to worry about. She was too busy looking at Katya anyway. She had heard from other woman that she was pretty and Violet had seen her photos, even the nude ones, but they didn't do her justice. Pretty was no way to describe her. She was absolutely breathtaking.  
Her body was athletic, her skin had a slight tan to it, her blonde hair looked soft and was styled carefully. She was wearing a lot of make up but Violet could still make out her features underneath it all: high cheekbones, slightly hollowed cheeks, deep set blue eyes and full lips that were painted in red lipstick. She looked absolutely ravishing and Violet felt herself drawn to her. Ten minutes later and she was seated across from Katya.

"Salt," Christian said to Violet before continuing to talk to David and Craig. This kind of communication wasn't unusual for them so she just passed the salt without thinking about it further. However, both David and Katya seemed to have noticed their little exchange.

David had a predatory smile on his face. "No back talking? Nice catch, Christian. I gotta get myself one of those. This one talks too much," he laughed while gesturing towards Katya. 

Katya glared at him. "Maybe she's quiet because she's secretly planning to cut his balls off while he sleeps."

Violet couldn't help herself but to laugh lightly, causing Katya to look at her. When their eyes met Violet could've sworn that her heart skipped a beat. Katya really was beautiful and was now even smiling back at Violet and she would've done anything to keep on seeing that smile. But like usual her wish was not granted. 

"I see you have your hands full with her. And Violet is way too glad that I gave her a purpose in life to do anything like that, am I right darling?" Christian said before planting a kiss on Violet's cheek, making Violet feel dirty.

„Oh, I don't worry about that with Katya either. I basically scooped her up from the streets so she is indebted to me," David spoke laughingly. Christian just joined in on his laughter. Violet had never seen them laugh together, it was either stone cold business or death glares with them. She looked back at Katya who was just staring at her plate while David and Christian kept on chitchatting about their wives and how they had saved them and how lucky Katya and Violet were. Only that Violet didn't feel lucky at all.

The dinner seemed to be going for hours and Violet couldn't really do anything besides sitting next to Christian, trying to be as invisible as possible. Occasionally though she sneaked a glance at Katya who also had stopped talking altogether but was sometimes looking back at Violet with a small, sympathetic smile on her face.

After the dinner Violet was waiting by the door while Christian was wrapping up some last details when Katya approached her. 

"I like your dress," she simply stated before looking Violet up and down. 

"Thank you, it's Versace." Violet smiled at Katya, really wanting to talk to her but not knowing how to keep the conversation going. 

"I know," Katya smiled back at her, looking like she wanted to say more when her name was called. They both spotted David who was standing next to a car, looking at Katya annoyed. Katya sighed and brought her eyes back to Violet's. "It was very nice meeting you," she quietly said while grabbing one Violet's hands and squeezing it lightly before making her way to her husband.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That feeling when your last Google searches are ‚poison‘, ‚first degree murder‘ and ‚south france‘…. Hope you enjoy. xx

**After**

Violet closed her hotel door. She wanted nothing more than to go to Katya’s room but she couldn’t. When they had started planning the murder they had decided that it would be too dangerous to meet up in New York. They would have to stay for an additional couple of days until both Christian’s and David’s last will and testaments had been read. Violet hated that she would have to be sitting in a room with Christian’s family, especially since she already knew what the will said and all of them already hated her already anyway. But she would be filthy rich. And so would Katya. Both Christian and David had left their wives big amounts of money in case of their deaths. Violet had been surprised at first when they had discovered it but Katya said that it probably only was because they disliked their families even more than their wives. So getting the money would be great but it meant that they would have to keep the facade up even longer. Christian’s will would be read in two days and after that Violet would be flying to Paris, where she owned an apartment that Christian had gifted to her, to “process the situation“ for an undecided amount of time.

In reality she would be camping out there for a few days until Katya would arrive in Marseille. Then Violet would be taking the train there, not buying the ticket online but in cash to not leave any trails, and then she would finally be free. The plan was almost perfect, the only problem was that she couldn't see Katya for another week. She hadn't talked to her, not even texted her in almost two months and had only seen her in court. They had discussed wether or not to use burner phones while they couldn't be talking face to face but had ultimately decided against it. It was a high profile 1st degree murder case involving multi-millionaires and the police had been thorough when they searched for reasons for Violet and Katya to kill their husbands. Violet had been glad that they had chosen not to contact each other in any way while the investigation was in process more than once.

A less clear- headed part of her wished that she would be lying in bed with Katya now though. She missed her dearly and wanted nothing more than to feel her body against her own and to hear her laugh again.  
__

**Before**

Violet looked out of the window. She had arrived at the Club precisely at 7 pm, like Christian had asked. He had wanted to take her out to dinner there and had insisted on her showing up on time. Meanwhile he was still outside playing Golf with some of his friends. Violet noticed confused that David was among them once again. They apparently were still trying to get their business deal going but didn't seem eye to eye.

"10 bucks that he won't make the next shot." 

Violet looked next to her. Katya was also staring out of the window. She looked back at Violet briefly before pointing outside. "Look." They both saw how David missed the shot. Katya chuckled lightly. "I bet he's gonna tell me that somehow Christian manipulated the ball or something." She turned to look at Violet. "You look lovely."

Violet didn't know why Katya was talking to her like they were old friends. They had only seen each other once before and that was weeks ago and they had barely talked to each other then.

"Thank you. So do you," Violet complimented Katya while taking her in. She looked beautiful in red. "What are you doing here?"

"My darling husband ordered me here.“ The word darling sounded like venom out of her mouth.

"So did Christian. Do you think we will be having dinner together?" Violet really hoped that this was the case. Dinners with Christian were emotionally draining since they had to have conversations while waiting for their food and Violet was growing more disgusted by him every time he opened his mouth.

"One can only hope." Katya smiled at her but there was no joking tone in her voice.

"How come you don't have an accent?" Violet didn't really mean to blurt the question out. In the circles she was living in now it was considered rude to ask too personal question. It still felt weird to her and she doubted that she would ever get completely used to it. Katya however didn't seem to mind.

"David made me work with a linguist so I would learn how to drop the accent and could blend in better." Violet wasn't sure if she imagined it but it looked like Katya's words had been accompanied with a slight eye roll. "But I can switch back into if I want to," she continued in a heavy Russian accent. Violet stared at Katya for a moment. Her accent made her even hotter than she already was anyway. Katya turned to Violet, holding her gaze for way too long, neither of them looking away. Maybe Violet was starting to imagine things she wanted to see now but she thought that she saw Katya's eyes drift to her lips for only a second and it made her heart flutter nonetheless.  
Violet chuckled awkwardly before turning to look away from Katya who kept her gaze on Violet. This was highly inappropriate. She could not develop some sort of crush on Katya. Not after only meeting her once and not when her husband was Christian’s rival and business partner. But Violet couldn't help herself but to look back at Katya. She felt her breathing getting faster when she noticed how Katya's eyes were moving down Violet's body with desire in them. This could not be happening. Their eyes met again and Violet felt her heart starting to beat harder. 

"There you are!" She heard next to her face before Christian's lips were pressed to her check and his hand was patting her ass. Some part of Violet was glad that they were interrupted by their husbands but the bigger, more pressing part wondered what would've happened if Christian and David had been even more late. Like they had expected they were dining together. And while David and Christian continued to argue about business, Katya and Violet talked about designers. Violet was afraid that one of the men would be noticing the flirting tone Katya and her were talking in or the lingering looks but they didn't. They weren't paying attention to their wives anyway.

__

Violet had never considered herself lucky. She had been born into a family of criminals and her upbringing had been more than rough. And then she met a man who she thought was nice only for him to turn out to be an abusive asshole. But this was definitely luck. She was going to be on a skiing trip with some of Christians friends and colleges and their wives. And Katya. She didn't know how to ski but if things would go the way she hoped that wouldn't matter. 

She hadn't planned to act on her ‘crush‘ or whatever it was on Katya. But after the last time they saw each other, Katya’s lips were the only thing she could think about. She imagined them on her own, on her collarbone, trailing down her body. Yes, she definitely wanted sex with Katya. She had tried to convince herself that this ’crush’ was only born out of boredom but then she had started googling Katya and came across more nude photo shoots from her past. So now she was thinking about Katya’s naked body on herself and she couldn't stop. 

When Christian had asked her to come on the Ski trip she desperately wanted to make excuses so she wouldn't have to go. She was in no mood to be spending an entire week with Christian’s asshole friends and their brainless wives. She didn't know which was worse, the fact that by now three different of Christian’s friends had made a move on her or the fact that all the other wives hated her. Actually hated her. She was too young, too arrogant and she didn't fit into their world. The only person they hated more was.. well Katya.  
Katya was just out of place as Violet was. Both of them came from relatively poor families, though everyone was poor compared to New York’s elite, but Violet was sure that her family would be considered poor by most people living in the US. So Violet had already tried to come up with believable excuses to get her out of the misery this skiing trip was bound to be. She had started to present them to Christian when he cut in.

“Violet, I’m done discussing this. You need to be there. I need David to come and he said that he will only be attending if Katya will be coming. And apparently Katya has found an affinity for you and said she will only be attending if you do too. You know that she doesn't get along with the others. That might be because she is major bitch and that is her own fault, I don’t know why David even..-“ Christian rambled on but Violet had stopped listening. 

Katya was coming? But she was only coming if Violet would be there too and she felt so strongly about this that she had made Violet’s attendance a condition for her own presence? Violet was dumbfounded. And glad. Maybe this wasn't a one sided thing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it starting to get hot in here?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of the fic nobody asked for! Fun Fact: The way they travel they’d spend 65k on getting there (Private Jet from NYC to Aspen for 8 people) This chapter doesn't have an ‚after‘ part. Also, we’re on a lighter note for this chapter. And I got so invested in this fic, there’s gonna be quite a few more parts wether you want it or not. (Sorry) So anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy. xx

**Before**

 

Violet exited the Jet and stretched. She still didn't understand why they had to take two different small jets instead of a big one. She had hoped that one of the men would've been able to get the big company jet for their trip so that they could all take the same flight. Well, technically she had only hoped that she would've been on the same flight as Katya but she had not been so lucky.  
Katya, David and some of their friends had already flown to Aspen in the morning. So instead of getting to look at Katya, Violet had to listen to Maureen and Lilian talking about how incompetent their help was and how _divine_ the appetizer at the last _luncheon_ were. She had only been part of this world for less than a year but she was sure that she would never understand why the women talked like that.

Christian’s college Craig owned his own villa in Aspen which was were some of the other couples stayed while the rest of them had rented one. Violet wasn't entirely sure but if she had listened correctly while the men were talking, Katya and David would be staying in the same villa as Christian and Violet and unfortunately also Lilian, Maureen and their husbands.

They took their rented cars to get to the villa and Violet couldn't suppress her smile when Katya opened the door for them once they arrived. So far Violet had only seen her in heavy make up and fancy dresses but now she was wearing simple jeans and a cashmere sweater with her hair tied up and her face almost completely free of make up. She looked beautiful nonetheless. Violet stood at the side while the others were greeting Katya and David. 

Once they were done and started looking around the house, Violet finally approached Katya. Much to her surprise, Katya pulled her into a hug. Violet felt herself stiffen, it had been months since she had been hugged by anyone besides her hair stylist Courtney.  
Slowly Violet wrapped her arms around Katya too. Her body was warm and she smelled faintly like washing powder and shampoo and Violet felt herself relax. She had met Lilian and Maureen countless times by now and yet they still greeted her with air kisses while standing a meter away from her. People in their circles barely ever touched each other and Violet had a hard time coming to terms with their cold behavior. But Katya was different. She rested her head on Violet’s shoulder for a moment before letting go of her. Katya smiled at her and pushed some of Violet’s hair out of her face before she took a small step away from her. 

Violet smiled back at her. “So how’s the villa?“

Katya rolled her eyes. “You know, the usual.“ She looked Violet up and down before wiggling her eyebrows in an exaggerated way. “But this one has a hot tub. Want me to show you?“ Violet was still not sure how serious Katya was with all this flirting but some part of her told her that it couldn't all be joke. And while she was intrigued and fascinated by Katya she mainly was confused. Katya hugged her and talked to her like they had know each other for a long time and were the best of friends but then she would sit across from Violet and look at her with dark eyes and a sly smile on her face. 

Violet usually knew when people were flirting with her which was what made her somewhat confident that Katya was doing exactly that. But then Katya was also married and apparently bored so maybe she was playing mind games with Violet to keep herself entertained. If playing mind games was her intention, it definitely worked. Violet had been thinking about why Katya had insisted on her coming for most of the flight; well if she was being really honest with herself she had been thinking about it ever since Christian had told her last week. Violet sighed and started following Katya who had begun to walk upstairs towards where Violet assumed the balcony with the hot tub was.  
While Violet was walking up the stairs she had a perfect view of Katya’s ass and was enjoying it until Katya turned around and caught Violet’s line of sight and chuckled lightly to herself. Violet felt herself blush and was glad when they reached the balcony a few moments later. 

Katya opened the door and when both stepped outside they couldn't hear the laughing coming from somewhere downstairs anymore. Violet took a few steps towards the railing and looked at the mountains in the distance. The moon was shining onto them and the whole scenery looked beautiful. She felt Katya standing next to her, her arm slightly touching Violet’s, and the both of them just looked into the distance for a moment that seemed to stretch on forever. 

“It’s so peaceful,“ Katya finally spoke up. 

“Imagine you would be living here. It must feel so free.“ Katya didn't answer her so Violet turned towards her. She was still looking ahead with a facial expression so sad it made Violet feel sick to her stomach. She cleared her throat and started walking towards the hot tub.  
“So, the hot tub is quite big, huh?“ Violet sounded like an idiot pointing it out but she was desperate to say anything just to get that expression off of Katya’s face. But she was still staring ahead. Violet began walking towards her again and put a hand on her arm. At that Katya flinched away vigorously and Violet took a suprised step back. 

Katya smiled at her apologetic after a moment. “Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.“ Her laugh sounded shaky and it made Violet’s stomach sink.

“It’s alright, I shouldn't have been sneaking up on you.“ Violet let out a laugh that sounded fake. She looked at Katya concerned. That reaction had been a bit intense and Violet had an unsettling suspicion what it was about. She started moving towards Katya again. Before she reached her though, Katya walked past her towards the hot tub and started explaining the different settings. Violet sighed but decided to let it go and started to walk towards the hot tub again. 

Once Violet had reached her, Katya was pressing her side into Violet’s and Violet felt her heartbeat getting faster again.

“Why did you say you want me here?“ Violet blurted out before turning to Katya who’s face was closer than Violet would've thought. Katya just stared back at her confused for a few moments before breaking out into a smile. 

“You know why,“ Katya said with the smile still on her face and she was so close, Violet could feel her hot breath on her own face. Katya’s breath smelled like cinnamon and Violet absentmindedly wondered if she would taste like cinnamon too. She helplessly blinked at Katya a few times before she could answer.

“Do I?“ Violet asked unsure and hated herself for sounding so small. Katya just nodded before her eyes drifted to Violet’s lips and she started to lean in. Violet closed her eyes and felt Katya’s lips onto hers a moment later. She had been right, she did taste like cinnamon. 

The kiss started out soft and sweet and Violet couldn't help but smile into it and felt Katya do the same. She pulled her closer and let one of her hands rest around her waist while the other rested at the back of her neck, feeling Katya’s soft hair there. Katya’s hand moved to Violet’s jaw and grabbed her face while her other hand was around Violet’s hip. Katya started pushing against her hip so Violet started walking backwards until her back hit the wall. The wall was cold on her back and Katya’s body was radiating with heat and the mixture made Violet’s mind foggy. Katya was pressing against her again and Violet felt her open her mouth and did the same, their tongues wrestling for dominance. Katya's chest was on Violet’s and she was sure that she felt her heart beating just as fast and hard as her own. Violet softly bit into Katya’s bottom lip and felt her gasp in suprise.

“Naughty,“ Katya whispered against Violet’s lips before she grabbed onto her face tightly again and let her tongue play with Violet's, both of their movements now with more urgency. Violet moved her hands up and down Katya's body, their kiss almost becoming violent with lust. Violet suddenly heard giggling close to them and pushed Katya off of her. She could make out Lilian’s and Maureen’s voices coming up the stairs and looked back at Katya with wide eyes. 

“Your hair,“ Katya said quietly and Violet moved her hands to her hair to smooth it out while walking back towards the hot tub with Katya following her.

“Those jets are amazing for massages,“ Katya said loudly just when Maureen and Lilian had reached the door.

“Oh, you’re both here. How lovely,“ Maureen said in a cutesy voice while giving them a fake smile.

“We only just now realized that you weren't there with all of us so we were worried and decided to go and look for you,“ Lilian spoke up an expression and tone almost identical to Maureen’s. Violet and Katya exchanged a look.

“Violet said that she needed some fresh air so I brought her here and showed her the hot tub,“ Katya explained with a slight shoulder shrug.

„Oh and what a lovely tub that is!“ Maureen exclaimed excitedly while she started walking towards it with Lilian following her suit. Violet felt herself relax, they didn't seem to have any clue of what had just happened. But then again, neither did Violet. Though she couldn't keep the smile off of her face when Katya squeezed her hand for only a second while they all made their way downstairs a few minutes later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MILKY Pt. 4!! (Yes Milky is the ‚official‘ abbreviation because my phone changes Mliky to milky anyway)This chapter took forever and I don’t even know why. I went from liking it to hating it and back and forth a lot. I do like the last paragraph though. Anyway, I don’t really know what to say about this? There’s plot there if you look real hard?? The next chapters will have more plot but I wanted to build them up more since there’s quite a few more chapters coming and I thought this was cute? and now: Enjoy!! xx

   
Violet stood on the small balcony of her and Christian's room and watched as the cars were leaving the curb. She let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. It was only her and Katya in the house now.  
Violet had told the others that she didn't want to go skiing because well... because she didn't know how to ski. Which was the truth.  
Katya had loudly proclaimed that she was on her period and was experiencing heavy migraines which meant that she couldn't go skiing. Which Violet was certain was a lie.  
None of the others had even attempted to convince them to come anyway which should have been upsetting but instead Violet was glad.  
   
She stepped back into her bedroom and had just closed the balcony door when Katya entered the room. She must have waited for them to leave too.  
   
They looked at each other for a short moment before Katya kicked the door close with her foot and slowly started walking towards Violet who watched her every step. Katya was wearing a thin shirt and Violet could see the outline of her bra underneath it. 

When Katya had almost reached her her movements got faster and she grabbed Violet’s face and pulled her into a violent kiss. Their lips met with desperation and their tongues immediately started wrestling for dominance. Violet was eager to finally feel Katya's body on her own. She had been fantasizing about it for weeks and the fact that she had felt Katya’s lips finally on her own yesterday had almost driven her insane.  
She wasn't proud of it but Katya’s lips traveling all over her body had been the only thing she had been able to think about the night before while Christian had laid next to her snoring.  
   
Their kisses yesterday hadn't exactly been soft but they definitely had been a lot more tame than their kisses now. Katya slipped her hands under Violets shirt and pulled it off in one swift motion, tossing it into some corner of the room. Violet hadn't bothered with a bra since she was staying in all day anyway and she heard Katya take a sharp inhale of breath when she saw Violet’s naked upper body. She let her hands move over Violet’s hips and up her boobs and Violet involuntarily shuddered.  
   
She moved her hands to Katya’s neck and pulled her back in, digging her fingers into her skin, attacking her lips with force. Katya grabbed Violet’s hips and pushed her onto the bed before climbing on top of her and taking her own shirt off. Katya was wearing a red lacy bra and Violet could see her nipples through the thin lace.  
   
"Fuck," she murmured while moving her hands to Katya’s back to unclasp the bra in the back. Katya let the bra slip off her arms and dropped it next to the bed and Violet looked at her and thought that all the photos from her nude photo shoots didn't do her justice. Violet cupped Katya’s boobs for a moment before letting her hand run over Katya's naked hips and looking at her.  
   
"You're so beautiful," she whispered and almost mentally slapped herself. Wasn’t this supposed to be sex and sex only?  
But then Katya smiled at her, really smiled, and Violet didn’t care anymore what exactly this was because whatever it was, it made her feel so very good.  
   
Violet softly pushed against Katya's hips to get her to move onto her back. Once Katya wasn’t straddling her anymore Violet jiggled out of her shorts, stripped Katya of her leggings and moved on top of her. She moved her lips to Katya's neck and travelled down to her collarbones, leaving small kisses on the way.  
   
"You know, this is kind of surreal that we're here right now, don't you think?" Katya spoke up and Violet had to suppress a violent eye roll because was she actually trying to have a conversation right now?  
   
And then Katya giggled. Fucking giggled. It threw Violet off for a moment. She had only seen Katya serious or quiet or pissed off or flirty thus far. But she had never seen her happy and it was enchanting.  
Violet lifted herself up and looked down at Katya. She closed her eyes completely and leaned her head back when she laughed and Violet looked at her and she was so beautiful.  
   
She stroked over Katyas sides and smiled at her, failing to look annoyed.  
   
"Stop giggling. This is supposed to be sexy, you idiot."  
   
"I promise I'll be better next time," Katya pressed out between laughs.  
   
Violet smirked down at her. "Who says there will be a next time?" And she didn’t know who she was trying to fool here. She knew damn well that there would be a next time.  
   
Katya opened her eyes and looked at her while her soft giggles were slowly dying down. And then she smiled at Violet and Violet couldn’t keep the smile off of her face and she didn't know when she had been this content for the last time.  
   
Katya let her hands run over Violets upper legs and Violet felt goosebumps building on her skin and leaned back down to kiss Katya.  
Her lips were soft on Violet's and she kissed her slowly and gentle and like no one else ever had and it made her mind foggy and her heart light.  
   
Violet moved her hands to Katya’s hair and let them run through it while she kissed her more roughly. She was incredibly turned on and Katya was intoxicating and Violet didn't know how she was keeping sane at this very moment. She had been dating men just for the money for so long now that she had almost forgotten that sex could feel good.  
   
Katya bit into Violet's bottom lip lightly and placed a small kiss on Violet's jaw before flipping them over so that she was on top.  
   
"You're so stunning," she whispered before attacking Violets lips eagerly. Violet’s hands found their way to Katya’s ass and she dug her fingers into it forcefully and felt Katya smile into their kiss and roll her hips against Violet’s.  
   
Katya’s lips left Violet’s and started making their way down. She felt her hot breath on her neck and on her chest and and then her tongue on her nipple.  
Violet was trying to keep her moans to a minimum to not seem too desperate but Katya's tongue on her skin lit Violet on fire and she felt like she was burning up from inside because everything felt amazing.  
   
Katya’s hands slipped under the band of Violets thong and she looked up at Violet with dark eyes. She pulled it off of Violet slowly and let it drop next to the bed.  
Then Katya’s lips were on Violets leg and she left a trail of hot kisses there on her way up and the anticipation was almost too much for Violet too handle.  
   
But then Katya's head was between Violet's legs and it was even worse trying to handle that. But it felt good, so good and Violet was shamelessly moaning now. She looked down and locked eyes with Katya with her head buried between her legs and the sight almost sent Violet over the edge. She threw her head back into the pillow and closed her eyes and grabbed tightly onto the bed sheets, needing something to hold onto.  
   
And she knew she was close but Katya kept going and Violet felt more waves of heat traveling through her body and then her orgasm hit so hard that she felt her vision blur for a second.  
She was panting hard and just laid there blinking at the ceiling, barely noticing Katya moving back up until her face was in front of Violets.  
   
"So how about 'who says there will be a next time?' now, huh?" She looked at Violet challenging before placing a quick peck on her collarbone.  
   
Violet looked up to her for a couple of moments and slowly felt a smile building up. Violet got a hold of Katya’s shoulders and forced her onto her back and basically ripped Katya’s thong off of her body and let her hand move in between Katya’s legs, feeling how wet she was before straddling her.  
   
"Fuck Katya, that was... fuck," she smiled while her hands rubbed over Katya’s nipples.  
   
"What can I say? I'm a woman of many talents, Violet," she murmured and Violet was thoroughly enjoying Katya trying to keep her voice casual and free of moans while Violet was playing with her nipples.  
   
"Mhhm,"  she hummed before she leaned back down to Katya "I’m sure you are." She pecked Katya on the lips once before she let her lips wander all over her body and returning the favor and Katya moaning her name might have been the most beautiful thing Violet had ever heard.  
   
They kept lying in bed for a while, all cuddles and stupid fond smiles and Violet knew that she was out of her depth with this one. They spent the whole day together and even attempted to cook something which ended up barely edible. They talked about their upbringings and their lives before their husbands and about their favorite movies. And they listened to Katya's favorite song on repeat -some Russian folk meets pop kind of thing- that was nothing like anything Violet had ever heard before. And it was playing in her head all night long and Violet was falling in love with her favorite song.  
 

And with her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bittersweet extremes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact; I accidentally deleted parts of this chapter and never got them back so this was a good fast one for me until that but I ended up frustrated because of that mishap. Another Fun Fact: this chapter has twice as many words as the shortest Milky chapter. Anyyway, I hope you will all enjoy this! xx

**After**

Violet walked into the hotel lobby and looked back over her shoulder to thank the door man, causing her to lightly bump into someone. The man shifted slightly to look at her and Violet immediately recognized him from the courtroom. David’s father.  
   
He was talking to Katya and Violet looked at her with wide eyes for a moment. She hadn't thought that she would even see Katya again before they would reunite in France. But they had known that they were staying in the same hotel so maybe a run in had been inevitable.  
   
Katya’s hair looked lighter again, it seemed like she had used the days after the the verdict had been announced to touch up her roots. 

Violet couldn't believe that the verdict had been finalized and that technically they were free now. Katya was actually standing in close proximity to her somewhere other than a courtroom and yet there was nothing she could do about it while they were in public.  
   
“I think an apology would be appreciated,” David’s father spoke.  
   
“Oh, of course. I am sorry. After you.” Violet gestured vaguely in front of herself and smiled at him as politely as she could while also trying to not look at Katya. 

She was pretty sure that he recognized her from the courtroom but he didn't say anything. He just huffed and started walking, Katya following him suit. Before she had started walking however she had looked at Violet with a barely noticeable smile but it made Violet’s heart soar nonetheless. 

Violet had been missing Katya dearly for the past months while only getting to see her in the courtroom.  
It was a strange sensation. She was missing someone that was right there.

The stress of the investigation had at least helped her to distract herself massively from her longing for Katya but now that most of that was behind them her feelings had been all over the place. She had been worrying about how things between her and Katya would be, if her feelings would be the same, if their move to France would work out and most of all if Katya was alright.  
   
Violet walked behind Katya and watched her hair swing with her every step. She found herself on the same elevator as them and looked on as Katya pushed the button for the 18th floor and turned around to Violet.  
   
“Which one do you need?” It was weird to have Katya speaking to her again, that hadn't been part of the plan and Violet could tell that it was throwing off Katya too.  
   
“The same one. Thanks,” she said while smiling at Katya with a what she hoped would be interpreted as a polite smile by David’s father. For him it was supposed to look like her and Katya had been friends but had stopped talking to each other when David’s and Christian’s business deal had fallen through. At least that was the official storyline they were going with.  
   
They got out of the elevator and Violet observed how Katya opened the door to a room that was very close to her own. She walked past them into her own room, closed the door behind herself and sat down on the bed. Her mind was racing. Katya was on the same floor as her. Only three rooms away from her. Neither of their rooms close to the security cameras filming the entry to the stairwell or the elevator.  
   
Violet spent the next hours organizing the few clothes and make up items she had with her. She would have to go back to the apartment sooner or later. But the case had only been closed three days ago and Violet had only been allowed back into the apartment since today. She had meant to go there today but then Christian’s ex-wife and their kids had invited her for the most awkward lunch of Violet’s life after Christian’s will had been read. 

She glanced at her phone. 9 pm. She walked towards the window and looked outside, thinking about how a few rooms down Katya had the same view of the city.  
   
Violet started walking towards the door, thinking about how she shouldn't. They were not supposed to see each other until Marseille, just to be safe. But there was no police, no cameras, no one who would know around.  
   
She was usually strong willed but the past weeks had been so stressful and emotionally draining and she just had to know that Katya was okay.

And then there she was, opening the door. And her blonde hair was wet and she was only in a bathrobe. But she was there. They were both there and there were no cameras or judges or detectives around and Violet leaped into Katya’s arms, vaguely noticing Katya pushing the door shut before wrapping her arms tightly around Violet.  
   
Violet pressed her entire body against Katya’s, pulling her as close as possible and her wet hair was unpleasantly cold and she must have started using a different shampoo because she smelled different but this was Katya. Katya. Katya. Katya.  
   
Violet tried to get even closer, pressing her face painfully hard into Katya’s neck and feeling tears leaving her eyes. It felt like all the tension and stress was slowly falling from her.  
   
She felt Katya’s hand stroking over Violet’s back over and over again, almost like she had to make sure that she was really there.  
   
“I was hoping that you would be dumb enough to come here.” Katya’s voice was muffled by Violet’s shoulder but she could practically hear the smile anyway.  
   
Violet softly pushed away from Katya to look at her, moving her hand over the wet trail the tears had left on her face.  
   
“Are you okay?” Katya whispered while her hand softly stroked over Violet’s bottom lip. Violet smiled at her and just nodded. Katya let out a relieved breath and she was really here and she was so beautiful.  
   
She moved her face back into Katya’s neck and pulled her closer again, not wanting to let go yet.  
   
“How are you?” Violet whispered against Katya’s skin. She had been so worried about Katya and whether she was safe. Katya not being okay had slowly but surely been consuming Violet’s every thought for the past three days. She had been obsessing over Katya possibly crying herself to sleep, of the guilt getting to her, of her starting to drink again, of her not taking care of herself.  
   
“I am fine.” Katya’s voice still had a smile in it and Violet felt herself soften into the hug.

_She was fine. She was fine. She was fine._

**Before**

The next morning Katya didn't come down for breakfast and Violet wasn’t sure if she should be asking David about it but before she could make a decision Maureen started talking.

"Will Katya not be eating?" She directed at David. There was a slight pause before he answered.

"She isn't feeling well. She needs to rest," and Violet looked at Maureen who just smiled and nodded.

"Well, let's hope she will get better soon," she said before continuing with her search for her sunglasses in her bag. 

Violet however looked at David. Where Maureen didn't pick up the weird tone in David's voice Violet certainly did. She stared at him and noticed that he was trying to avoid her gaze. 

She sat in the kitchen, her hands around a hot cup of coffee, and watched as the others were getting ready for their day of skiing.

"Violet, darling," Lilian cooed while standing by the door. "You should really learn how to ski so you can come."

Violet politely smiled. "Maybe I will next time. Have fun." She waved after her when she started walking towards the car and kept on waving until the cars started moving. Once they had left the premise she slammed the door shut and ran up the stairs to burst into Katya's and David's room without knocking. 

Katya's back was turned towards her but something told Violet that she was not asleep. 

"Katya?" She whispered, not getting a reaction. She walked towards the bed and put a hand on Katya's shoulder and kneeled down next to the bed.

Katya shuffled lightly, the blanket up to her face, and turned around to face Violet. "Hey," she whispered weakly. She looked so tired.

Violet pushed some hair out of her face and looked at her concerned. "Are you.... will you be okay?"

Katya let out a bitter laugh. "I'll be fine, Violet." And the way she said her name sent a shiver down Violet's spine but not in a good way. She didn't know how to reply so they just looked at each other for a moment; Katya with a blank expression and Violet with furrowed brows. 

"Do you want to come downstairs? I'll make you coffee and maybe we could watch a movie or something?" She tried to speak in a gentle voice and stroked over Katya's hair again while she waited for her to answer. 

Katya blinked at Violet. "Maybe later."

Violet let out a sigh. "Alright. Well, I'll be downstairs." Katya just nodded and turned back around. Violet stood back up and walked towards the door, turning around to look back once she reaches it but Katya still has her back turned to Violet.

She had just started cleaning the kitchen since there really wasn’t anything better to do when she heard footsteps on the stairs. A few moments later Katya was hugging Violet from behind and her face was against Violet’s back and Violet could feel her hot breath against her skin.

She put her hand on top of Katya’s and interlaced their fingers for a moment. “Let’s watch a movie. I’ll make coffee.“

While Violet had made the coffee, Katya had gotten them blankets, had seated herself down on the sofa and had pulled her hair up into a loose. Violet almost dropped the cups when she saw her neck. It was almost completely red, some places more so than others and Violet could basically watch the bruises building. 

She placed the cups on the table and sat down next to her. "What happened?"

Katya gave her a side glance. "You know what happened.“ She huffed when she saw Violet’s face. „ Don’t look so surprised, I saw the bruises on you yesterday." 

She pushed Violets shorts up a bit and put her hand down on Violet’s leg, each finger resting on a small bruise. But Katya's hands were smaller than Christian's so it looked like there were deep purple outlines around her fingers and Violet had to suppress the urge to push her hand off. 

„Well, it's not like he's trying to kill me though."

"He wasn't trying to kill me! And at least David isn't forcing his dick into my vagina." Violet blinked at Katya surprised for a moment, she didn't know how Katya had gotten that idea. She moved away from her slightly.

"It's not... it's not like that. He's my husband."

Katya threw her hands up in surrender. "So? Doesn't make it okay." She gestured between Violets leg and her own neck. "None of this is okay."

"Well, what are you gonna do about it, sweetie pie?" Violet let out in an annoyed voice. She didn’t know why she was acting so defensive, her battle wasn’t with Katya. But every time Christian's body was looming over her own she felt so small and defeated. And she wasn’t doing anything about it and she was so angry at herself for it. But somehow that anger was directing itself at Katya. Who did she think she was to judge Violet for her actions, or rather non-actions when she herself wasn't doing anything either.

Katya let out a frustrated groan before dragging her hands over her face. "Just for the record. There's a lot of things I would like to do about it."

Violet let out a defeated sigh. "But you're not gonna."

"No. I'm not." They both stared ahead and didn't say anything and Violet was frustrated because she didn't want to be reminded about her marriage and she was worried about Katya and sad because she didn't want to spend the few hours she had with her with fighting.

She lifted the corner of the blanket Katya was under up and pressed her body to Katya’s. 

“Sorry,“ she softly said after a moment and Katya let out another sigh before placing her arm around Violet, pulling her closer.

“It’s not your fault, Violet.“ Her voice was soft but she looked deep in thought. Violet let out a sigh. There really was a lot of sighing today.

“I just hope that Christian will be too exhausted for sex again. He was yesterday and it was awesome,“ Violet said. Katya smiled at her while stroking through Violet’s hair.

“Just tell him that you have a vaginal yeast infection.“ Violet looked up at her with big eyes before considering it. That might actually work. Christian already freaked out when Violet said anything about her period. He was pretty disgusted by vaginas if he couldn't use them for sex. And even then Violet couldn't recall a time he hadn't just mindlessly hammered his penis inside her. It wasn't sex to her, it was merely a chore.

“At least I don't have to worry about that with David,“ Katya continued.

“How come?“ Violet asked while her hand rested on Katya’s stomach.

“I put testosterone blockers in his food.“ 

“What?!“ Violet moved her head from Katya’s chest and was looking her into the eyes.

“He can’t get an erection anymore. It’s pretty convenient. Plus it makes him feel emasculated which is just an added bonus.“ She explained it like it wasn't her corrupting him with drugs and Violet wasn't sure why Katya shared the fact that she committed a felony with her. She looked back at the bruises on Katya's neck. She softly stroked over them and felt Katya shudder.

“Seems fair,“ she said before pressing a small kiss to Katya’s lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We unlock part of Katya's and Violet's back story, they cook, a jacuzzi, a close call and we leave the ski vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise lol. So this happened today. I missed Milky so much, I almost cried. I'm very attached to this story.

**Before**

She stepped next to Katya, pressing her entire body into hers for a moment. This was nice, cooking together. Nice and weirdly intimate. Violet never really cooked anymore, they had a cook in New York and on vacation they usually just ordered food or went to restaurants. Though technically she wasn't exactly cooking with Katya, it was more teaching Katya how to cook.

She took the knife from Katya, their hands touching for a moment and Violet really wanted to kiss her. That was nothing new, Violet always wanted to kiss Katya. She looked out of the window, looked at Christian and David intensely talking to James and Robert while Lilian and Maureen were giggling about something.

A wave of affection shot through her, she was thankful that Katya had proposed to the others that her and Violet would cook. Violet had been glad even though she had very well known that that meant that she would be cooking alone while Katya watched. It was a bit annoying, Violet hated cooking for Christian. She used to cook for him in the early days of their marriage but it always ended up with him insulting whatever Violet had prepared.

Katya let go off the knife and, after a glance outside, pressed her lips onto Violet’s naked shoulder. “Are you okay with cutting raw chicken, princess? I wouldn't want you to get your hands dirty.”

Violet started cutting the chicken and rolled her eyes. "Please. I decapitated live chickens before."

There was silence for a moment and Violet smirked. She loved confusing Katya, though that hadn't really happened that much yet, it was really mostly Katya confusing Violet and Violet, well Violet was intrigued and frankly ridiculously in love.

"Ehm, Why?" Katya spoke while looking at Violet truly confused.

Violet properly looked at Katya for a moment and had a hard time suppressing the smile that was creeping onto her face.

“You know,” she grinned and Katya let out a quiet, maybe slightly freaked out laugh.

“There goes the pretty princess image,” Katya looked at Violet with a weird smile on her face. "Please tell me you weren't in a satanic cult. Or wait, please do, I hear they have mad sex rituals," Katya smirked though she still looked shocked.

"Ugh! I wish," Violet groaned before smirking back at Katya. "No, my cousin has a chicken farm."

Katya nodded. "I once had to shoot my favourite cow between the eyes so we could make it through the winter."

Violet shrugged her shoulders "That's farm life."

"Ah, yes the good old farm life with the murder of innocent animals and the smell of blood and shit on you for days," Katya grinned.

Violet giggled before sighing melodramatically and holding her hand to her own chest, pretending to clutch her heart. "Oh, the memories."

And this was a weird thing to bond over, farm life, or maybe it wasn't. Violet wasnt sure what was weird anymore. Everything felt weird when Katya was around. Weird, intriguing, confusing, fun and like happiness.

“So you grew up on a farm?” Violet asked.

“Yup,” Katya said while jumping on the kitchen counter, watching Violet cook. “It was mostly my mom and my aunt managing it and then at some point I helped as much as I could.”

“What about your dad?”

“Russian. Alcoholic.” She shrugged her shoulders. “Dead.”

Violet let out a sigh. She couldn't even be surprised, coming from a messed up family herself had put her in a mindset where she was more surprised by functional families than dysfunctional ones.

“Were you close?” she asked Katya though the answer was pretty evident in the way she talked about him.

“No, I barely knew him. He wasn't that bad though. Never hit me or my mom, not once. That’s more than most woman in my town could say. He was just-” she locked eyes with Violet and shrugged her shoulders again. “-absent, I guess.”

Violet nodded. “Tell me about it.”

Katya looked at her. “Want to talk about it?”

Violet glanced outside again. “Not really. Another day.” She gestured towards the tomatoes. “Tomatoes, please.” She smirked at Katya. “Or I’m just going to call you princess cause as of right now I’m the only one getting my hands dirty.”

Katya jumped off of the counter again, glanced outside, and pressed her lips to Violet’s ear. “Oh I’m totally going to get my hands dirty tomorrow.”

She stepped away from Violet and wiggled her eyebrows at her exaggeratedly.

Violet slightly shook her head before smiling back at her. “That was bad, even for you. Though in your defense, cutting raw chicken doesn't really help to set the mood.”

Katya was dumbly smiling at the tomatoes now and Violet was definitely in love with this idiot.

The rest of the night wasn't half that bad. At dinner Christian only insulted the food once. Later they were all outside, sitting around the fire. Christian, David and James each had their own chair while Lilian was perched on Robert’s lap, theirs probably the only half decent marriage around here.  
Meanwhile Maureen, Violet and Katya were squeezed together on the small bench. Though Violet couldn't even mind when the blanket that was draped over them allowed Katya to hold Violet’s hand while the conversations around them became background noise and Violet felt something like contentment while Katya’s thumb softly stroked over the back of her hand.

_

The whole trip was dangerous for Violet’s heart. Blonde hair, red lips, blue eyes, dumb jokes and kind words were dangerous for Violet’s heart.

She liked mornings suddenly. The others left early to spend the entire day skiing. Violet got up early to have breakfast with Katya in a hot tub.

Violet looked at the mountains behind her, looked at the strawberries Katya was holding, Katya’s red bikini, her blonde hair, her red lips, considered her own dark hair, her black bathing suit, her eyeliner, her lipstick free lips, because really who wears RED lipstick when they were going to make out with someone, and let out a laugh.

“A straight guy couldn't have written a better ‘lesbian’ porn scenario.”

Katya snorted. “I mean true. But this is all not even PG rated.”

“Yet.”

“Yet,” Katya repeated and smirked at Violet before taking a sip of her coffee.

“So I’ve been thinking-”

“Oh god.”

Violet splashed water at Katya. “-and I think we should make out.”

Katya let out a laugh. “Brilliant thinking.” She placed her coffee cup on the side and moved closer to Violet. “I approve.”

And then her lips were on Violet’s, soft but filled with need and Violet’s mind bathed in the desperation of it all.

Katya was straddling Violet. The water moving around them, their chests tightly pressed together, her hips rolling into Violet’s, the feel of her skin, the smell of her perfume and the strawberry shampoo, the taste of coffee and cigarettes on her tongue, her hand in Violet’s neck, softly pulling at the roots, were clouding her senses and Violet lost herself in her.

Katya leaned back. “Fuck, you’re so stunning.”

Violet pulled her back in, hungry, desperate with need. Her hand moved under Katya’s bikini top, over the cold skin, her nipple, enjoying Katya’s moans.

Violet leaned back this time, locking eyes with her. “You’re beautiful.”

Katya smiled at her and Violet’s heart fluttered just a little bit.

“Come on.” Katya got off of Violet and out of the hot tub.

She wrapped a big fluffy towel around Violet before getting her own. They looked ridiculous, half wet hair, lipstick on both of them, their faces decorated with stupid smiles and Violet was surprised by how happy she was.

They were responsible, cleaning the entire balcony, doing the dishes, hanging up their bikinis to dry, wrapping towels around their naked bodies when all Violet wanted to do was throw Katya onto the bed and hear her moans.

Katya closed the the dishwasher and Violet let her hand slip under Katya’s towel, fingertips slowly, torturously dancing over Katya’s nipple.

Violet moved her lips along her neck, biting into Katya’s earlobe, lips lingering over her ear, brushing over it when she spoke. “I need you.”

She felt Katya shudder before grabbing Violet’s hand, dragging her to her bedroom and Violet had a hard time grasping that all this would be over in a few hours.

_

Katya hugged Violet from behind, pressing her still naked body into Violet’s, grazing her hand over the thin lace, Violet’s nipple, her lips against Violet’s neck.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“What?” Violet asked, out of breath suddenly. This was getting out of hand, they had just had sex for hours, she couldn't possibly spend six hours in a row just fucking Katya.

Katya’s hand slipped under her bra. “This. The stockings. Who even does that?” Her voice was raspy and Violet was weak.

She turned around and catched Katya’s lips in another hungry kiss, her fingers digging into her ass, hard but making sure not to leave marks. Katya’s fingers on her nipple, her lips on Violet’s collarbone, their moans filling the room for a moment. The sound of a car driving onto the premises.

Violet jumped away from Katya’s touch, both of them looking at each other panicked.

Katya grabbed Violet’s clothes from the ground and pressed them in her arms.

“Go to your room, you… you have lipstick everywhere. Fuck.”

Violet’s breath got caught in her throat for a moment. Fuck, shit. Her brain went blank but something in her body must’ve clicked. That or Katya’s hand on her hip gently pushing her in the direction of the door.

Violet left Katya’s room and heard the front door open.

“Violet?” Christian’s voice. Fuck.

“Violet? Katya? We’re back.” Lilian’s voice. Shit.

Violet made her way towards her room as quietly and quickly as possible.

She locked the bathroom door behind herself and turned on the shower only seconds before she heard Christian’s voice.

“Violet? We’re back.” He tried the door handle.

“I’m showering,” she shouted over the sound of the water.

“We’re leaving for the restaurant in an hour.”

“Okay, I’ll hurry up.”

Violet grabbed onto the sink tightly for a moment, her knuckles turning white, and looked up to the mirror that began to fog up. Red lipstick all over her face, her collarbone, her stomach and let out a shaky breath. This had been a close call, way too close.

Her eyes searched for Katya’s when everyone began to assemble in the hall to leave for the restaurant an hour later.  
Katya send her a slight nod, confirming David hadn’t noticed anything, and a questioning look. Violet nodded back at her and Katya looked as if tension was leaving her body.

It was their last day here, everyone would leave in the morning and that had definitely not been the goodbye she had wanted for her and Katya.

She had no idea when they could see each other again, if they even would and Violet wanted to just hug her and almost burned with the surreality of not being able to.

She could never properly hug Katya, everything more than a short hug would be too suspicious. She wanted to, wanted to hug her, to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her ‘See you soon’. 

But that was the selfish part, the part that longed for Katya the second she was gone, of her thinking. They hadn't been caught. That had to be enough. Katya was fine. Violet was fine.

But when she did hug Katya goodbye the next morning, David waiting impatiently by the door, she didn't feel fine at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments if you feel like it! <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is actually 2k but it feels short not gonna lie. this was meant to be a lot longer cause this continues after that but i decided to split the chapter into 2 so expect the next chapter soon and honestly this story is getting way longer but trust me, murder territory is on the horizon even when it doesn't look like it now

**Before**

It was raining. It was always raining around Christmas time now. She stared out at the marvellous garden that looked sad in the pouring rain.  
The first time she had been here had been just before Christmas too but then there had been snow and she had still been blinded by the glitz and the glamour. 

She turned around and looked at the room, a ballroom because apparently some people inherited giant mansions with ballrooms and a guest house bigger than most hotels. Not that she was complaining though, attending the engagement party meant a night away from Christian and she really needed the break. Especially since his parents were coming to town for Christmas. And where Christian was bad, his mother was worse. 

It was shocking that he had even let her go but then again, this was Raja’s engagement party. And no matter how much Christian hated it, Raja had more money and more power than he would ever have. 

Raja had invited Violet offhandedly last week when they had run into each other at an art gallery opening in Paris. They weren’t even in contact anymore, not since Violet had gotten married and alienated herself from all her old contacts.  
Sure, there was the monthly facebook message from Kurtis she would reply to and the random wave from across the room to Raja but the bottom line was, she couldn’t talk to them. 

She had not been able to escape from Raja last week though and while she was glad that she was in Princeton instead of New York, she had felt weird after having met Raja. Because the thing was, Raja had known Violet since she was 19 and Violet was way different back then and Raja was, behind the bad bitch attitude, fiercely loyal and hurtfully direct and had given Violet a reality check she hadn’t necessarily asked for. ( _“You’ve lost weight.” “You look tired.” “Are you okay?” “Come to my engagement party next week. You look like you need a distraction.”_ )

So this was where she was. In Princeton, New Jersey, wearing an overpriced but stunningly beautiful black jumpsuit with a cape her shoes kept getting stuck in and a glass of champagne, looking at Raja and Manila enjoying their engagement party. _Money marries money_ , she thought bitterly even though she knew from looking across the room at Raja tenderly smiling while Manila was talking, that this had nothing to do with money. Violet took another sip of her champagne.

Raja caught Violet’s eye from across the room and Violet braced herself. Maybe she could’ve gotten away with telling Christian she would attend Raja’s engagement party and instead gotten herself a nice hotel room somewhere and done what she did best these days: think about Katya. Because the truth was Violet was sad and memories of Katya’s blonde hair and white teeth and loud laugh were hunting her. And sure it had only been two weeks and sure they never had the chance to exchange phone numbers or the such but if Violet was completely honest, the skiing trip had been the happiest she had been in a long time and frankly she was also head over heels in love with Katya which wasn’t helping at all.

“Violet!” Raja’s voice came from a few feet away before she hugged her. “Meet Manila.”

Violet had met Manila before, kind of. Because Raja had taken Violet to art galleries back in the day and because Manila and Raja, well that had been a long time coming.

“We met before, Raj,” Manila said softly while looking at Raja. “Hey Violet. Good to see you again.” And then she looked at Raja again and Violet felt as if she could actually see the bubble of happiness surrounding them. And she was thrilled for them because she loved Raja after all and Manila was lovely. It was just that she was just the tiniest bit miserable but tonight was not about her.

“Hey,” Violet echoed and even a simple ‘hey’ sounded weird. She never said ‘hey’ when she was at events with Christian but this was different because Raja and Manila were so rich that rich people customs didn’t even faze them anymore and Violet was a bit lost. 

“Ehm, congratulations on your engagement! When’s the wedding?”

Raja smiled at Manila again and Violet made a mental note to never associate with people that were in love while she herself was pining. 

“In June. Are you going to be there, darling?” Manila asked with a gentle smile to Violet and Violet decided that she liked Manila a lot.

“Ehm, I don’t know,” Violet said with a small smile to Manila before looking at Raja. 

“You know you’re always welco- Oh my god!” Raja stared at something over Violet’s shoulder with a big smile on her face. 

“I didn’t think you would come!” she exclaimed while walking past Violet. Violet and Manila followed her movements and Violet almost dropped her glass.

Katya. Katya actually here right now, being tightly embraced by Raja. Katya in a red dress that showed her boobs and her leg off because there was a dangerously high slit on one side. Not that Violet would complain.

Raja blocked Violet from Katya’s view and Violet tried to find the box with the social rules of interaction for _‘how to act around your kind of affair that you’re inconveniently in love with and that also even more inconveniently is the wife of your husbands business partner’_ in it. There was none. Surprisingly.

Raja was still kind of blocking Violet from Katya’s view and Katya was hugging Manila now because apparently she also knew both of them. What the fuck.

Katya turned to greet Violet, finally, and froze.

“Hey,” Violet said weakly and tried her best polite smile because she wasn’t sure what else to do.

Katya stared at Violet and while Violet was painfully aware of Raja’s and Manila’s confused stares, she took in Katya instead. Her hair was in a loose updo, the dress was sleeveless, her skin had a, no doubt artificial, tan, she looked like she had some kind of shimmer on her collarbones and her boobs. Not that Violet was staring. She looked at Katya’s face again instead. Red lips, of course, and smiled a little.

That smile, it seemed to wake Katya from her surprise for some reason.

“Vi,” she breathed out before closing the distance between them and hugging Violet closely. Katya must trust Manila and Raja a lot because this was definitely not how she would’ve acted in any other setting but Violet trusted Raja and Katya and even Manila who she barely knew so she just wrapped her arms tightly around Katya for a moment. 

“Hey,” she said again, softly, before reluctantly moving out of the hug. Katya moved to stand closely next to Violet.

“I didn’t know that you two… knew each other,” Raja said with raised eyebrows and a sly smile and Violet knew that Raja could tell that Katya and Violet were… something.

“Uh, yeah,” Violet said dumbly and Katya let out tiny laugh and Violet really wanted to kiss her.

“Right,” Manila smiled awkwardly. “So how did you-”

“Raja! Manila! There you are, I thought I lost you,” came from a beautiful blonde woman that Violet identified as Alaska whom she knew simply because everyone knew Alaska. If you didn’t know her from movies, you knew her music or saw one of her paintings. Alaska was basically the epitome of talent and was looking at Katya in a way Violet didn’t like one bit.

"That's a beautiful dress." Alaska said to Katya with a pretty smile. She wasn't looking at Violet and Violet wasn't used to people not acknowledging her presence and the woman was still looking at Katya and it was bothering Violet. 

"Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Violet," she said and now Alaska was looking at her, confused but friendly.

"Alaska," she introduced herself before looking back to Katya. Katya had a small smile on her face as she shook Alaska's hand.

"Katya," she stated her name before glancing at Violet and raising her eyebrows.

Alaska nodded lightly at her with a smile. "Is that dress Versace spring 2018?"

Violet rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "It is. Obviously." She heard Raja snort next to her and Katya let out a light chuckle.

“Right,” Alaska said before looking at Katya again. “You have amazing facial structure.”

“Thanks?” Katya said and glanced at Violet again. 

“Would you model for me? I would love to paint you,” Alaska asked.

"She's married?" Violet interjected and mentally wanted to slap herself. She sounded absolutely ridiculous and not to mention, transparent.

"To you?" Alaska asked.

“What? No, that’s… no.”

Alaska looked back at Violet with raised and an awkward smile. "Sorry for assuming."

“It’s okay,” Violet said helplessly and Katya let out a laugh while Raja and Manila looked at her confused but still smiling.

“Who wants drinks?” Manila asked after a slight pause.

“Me,” Alaska and Raja said at the same time, obviously desperate to get away from Violet’s crazy. Not that Violet could blame them. She really needed to tone the jealousy down.

They said their see you laters and Violet watched the three of them leave, Alaska talking about something, Raja and Manila listening while holding hands.

Katya’s arm wrapped itself around Violet’s waist and she let her chin drop onto Violet’s shoulder. “What the actual fuck was that?"

Violet groaned, Katya laughed. 

“How are you?” Katya asked, her voice so soft, so gentle now and Violet was hit with just how much she had missed her. 

“I’m fine,” Violet said while moving her hand on top of Katya’s interlacing their fingers and bathed in the beautiful surreality of it all. Katya, here, with her. “What about you? Are you okay?”

“Would it be very cheesy if I would say ‘I am now.’?”

Violet smiled and squeezed Katya’s hand. “Yes. Very.”

Katya laughed a little and her face was right next to Violet’s and she was actually here and their husbands were far away and there was nobody from their usual scene here, no reporters and this did feel like they were testing their luck.  
Violet reluctantly removed herself from Katya and looked at her. “Do you have to leave tonight?” 

She wanted Katya to stay the night, she hoped that Katya didn’t have to drive back to the city. She could, it was a less than two hour drive and Violet wouldn’t be surprised if David would have demanded that Katya would come back for the night. Christian had suggested that Violet would stay in Princeton. No doubt to meet with one of his mistresses.

“No. David is out of town.”

“Can you… Can you come to my room?” Violet asked and she didn’t know why her heart was beating so fast.

“Yes,” Katya smiled. “Yes, fuck yes.”

And then they were in Violet’s room, having left the party straight after dinner and speeches had happened.  
Violet closed the door behind herself and then Katya was on her, fingers digging into Violet’s hips, her lips hungrily on Violet’s and Violet melted into the touch. 

Katya leaned back and stroked some hair out of Violet’s face. 

“I missed you.” She smiled at Violet, hesitantly, almost. “A lot.”

“I missed you too.”

They looked at each other for a moment and Violet let out a small giggle, Katya joining in a moment later. Violet pressed her lips back onto Katya’s and kissed her again, softly this time. She leaned back once more, body tightly pressed against Katya, her hands on Katya’s hip and at the back of her neck, and looked at her. Katya had a smile on her face that Violet never wanted to go away.

“Can you sleep here?” she asked because this was it, really, getting to fall asleep and wake up with Katya right there because apparently Violet wished for those mundane things now.

Katya nodded at her, big smile on her face and Violet felt giddy with it all. She pulled Katya’s face closer to her own again and wondered if she could ever get over the euphoria of it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes next chapter contains the smutty continuation of this cause i just like smut


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY for taking 25 years (6 weeks) to update, I had an unfortunate brush with bad mental health but I'm a lot better now and worried about life BUT excited for the future (sorry...) Anyways my dudes, I hope you enjoy. This is a long one and I think I like it. xx

**Before**

”You know what bothers me though?“ Violet asked against Katya’s lips while her fingers were digging into her shoulder blades.

“What?“ Katya bit into Violet’s bottom lip, causing Violet to let out a low moan.

She tried to step out of the embrace but Katya just dug her finger into Violet’s ass and pushed her body onto her own. Violet dragged her hands from Katya’s back to her chest, letting them momentarily dance around her collarbones, before lightly digging her fingers into Katya’s breasts. The top of her dress was too tight for Violet to let her fingers slip into it, so tight that it was slightly cutting into her breasts, pushing them tighter together, making them spill a little over the top, making Violet dizzy with the image of her fingers digging into Katya’s boobs instead, with her nipple between her fingers. Katya was in fact wearing too much altogether but Violet also didn’t want her to take it off, the neckline so deep, the slit in the leg so high, the material perfectly tight around her waist.

“You wear shit like this,“ she dragged her hands over Katya’s chest, over her boobs down to her waist and back up and felt Katya shudder under her touch. “And I never get to see it.“ Katya’s fingertips were digging into Violet’s ass painfully hard, both of their breathings were lower. “It’s not fair.” Violet locked eyes with Katya again. “Fuck, you’re so hot,“ she breathed out with a glance to Katya’s lips.

“I’m sorry you got leggings and hoodies for a week straight instead, darling.” Katya rolled her eyes a little and couldn’t lock eyes with Violet again and Violet wondered when someone had told her that she was gorgeous, that she was beautiful rather than hot or sexy the last time. Because of course she was those things but there was something weirdly vulnerable in her words.

“I like you in leggings and hoodies just the same. Maybe more.”

“You love yourself some false sense of domesticity don’t you?” Katya said with a smirk.

“You’re an idiot.”

Katya smiled at Violet almost shyly while her hands moved up Violet’s back and Violet was sure that Katya would be the death of her.

“Well, I thought,“ Katya said before pressing a fast kiss onto Violet’s lips. “What if I run into Violet tonight,“ she smiled at Violet before grabbing one of her hands, pressing a kiss onto it. ”Wouldn’t it be fun to rile her up?“ She let out a small laugh and Violet kissed her. She could feel Katya smile into the kiss.

Katya broke the kiss this time, she glanced at Violet’s lips, no doubt a mixture of both their red lipsticks on them, before locking their eyes and moving her hand to hold onto Violet’s face gently. ”You’re so beautiful,“ she whispered.

”I know,“ Violet said, causing Katya to let out a surprised laugh. ”I wasn’t the one that was asked to model for a painting tonight though.“ 

Katya raised her eyebrows and smirked and fair enough, Violet brought that onto herself for bringing up Alaska’s flirting.

Katya’s thumb lightly stroked over Violet’s jaw. ”About that…“

”Please don’t.“

”She should’ve asked you to model for her. If I could draw I would want to draw only you. You should be painted to hang in museums for eternity,“ Katya said with a smirk.

Violet rolled her eyes. ”I hang in many rooms of New York’s high society, that’s enough for now.“

Katya’s hand stopped its movement against Violet’s skin. ”What?“

Violet let out a sigh. ”Raja used to paint me… a lot.“

Katya moved out of their embrace. ”But Raja… only paints nude.“

There was a pause and maybe this would’ve been a funny moment under different circumstances but Violet didn’t like the tone in Katya’s voice one bit. Apparently tonight was the night of jealousy. She hesitated for a moment but she couldn’t lie to Katya or tell her half truths, besides she wasn’t ashamed of her past. ”Yeah... she does.“

Katya raised her eyebrows in question.

Violet sighed again. “We met when I was 19 and then she painted me a couple of times and she was nice enough and then she gave me like a small room in her artist's chambers. Like she used to have this place where she-”

“Where she supported people that she thought could be it. I know, I’ve been there.”

“Right.”

“So what? You were her muse and she painted you-” Katya paused for a moment. “nude?”

Violet raised her eyebrows at her. “Yeah. Like you said, Raja kind of always paints nude people.”

“Did you fuck her?” Katya sounded downright pissed off now and Violet had to suppress the urge to roll her eyes.

“Yeah?”

Violet watched on as Katya swallowed hard and let her hand run through her hair, only causing some lose strands to fall out of her updo. “And… that’s still happening?”

Violet blinked away her surprise. “What? No? In case you missed it, she’s kind of getting married to Manila?” She vaguely gestured towards the window.

“Do you want it though? Do you want her?” Katya’s voice sounded weak now and she didn’t meet Violet’s eyes and nervously pulled her dress up to cover more of her chest. 

Violet send her a confused smile before walking closer, Katya lifted her head up slightly but fixated her gaze on Violet’s shoulder instead. Violet took Katya’s face into both of her hands and pressed her lips onto Katya’s, carefully, slowly, not opening her mouth. Katya kept her hands at her side, not kissing Violet back. Reluctantly Violet tore her lips off of Katya’s and looked at her. 

She locked eyes with her and could see the doubts, fear and maybe even anger in Katya’s eyes. “That’s been over for a long time.” 

Katya’s facial expression didn’t change, she let out a frustrated sigh and stepped away from Violet again, walking over to the window and looking. “Where did you even meet her? Isn't she like 50 years older than you?”

Violet chuckled lightly. “It’s 18 years.”

Katya turned around swiftly, her eyebrows furrowed. “That was twice your age!”

“What the fuck is your deal? Your husband is what? Like 25 years older than you!”

Katya let out another frustrated sigh and turned to look out of the window again. “Maybe I should go.”

Violet panicked. She couldn't have Katya leaving, not when they had so little time, so few chances, no idea when they would see each other again. Violet didn't even know why she was acting so defensive. Maybe because she could say what she was thinking without risking bruises and scratches. Maybe because she felt protective over Raja who had saved her from poverty. Maybe because she had a hard time fully admitting to herself that she was in love with Katya.

She stepped next to Katya and put her hand on top of hers on the window still. “Please don't. Don’t leave.” She let out a sigh and looked out of the window too. 

They could see the ballroom they had been previously in from here. Violet could see Alaska, could see Raja laughing about something Alaska had said while her hand rested around Manila’s hip, Manila leaning onto Raja. She could tell that Katya was watching them too and wondered if it was really Raja Katya was jealous of or the fact that Raja and Manila had what Violet and Katya would never have.

Violet let out a sigh. “It’s been over for a long time. I don’t want her anymore.” ‘I only want you’, she thought. “We met in the burlesque bar I was working at when I was 19. She was 37. She painted me a lot. We had sex a few times after we met, not a lot. And it stopped quickly. She likes to separate work and pleasure and I’m pretty sure she was already into Manila back then and I was fine with that. It was over before it begun. She introduced me to one of Christian’s friends who collected her works at the time.”

Violet could tell that Katya was looking at her intently now. “You worked at a burlesque bar?”

Violet turned her head and looked at Katya amused. “Focusing on the important details I see.”

Katya let out a weird laugh before she squeezed Violet’s hand once and walked backwards to the bed, letting herself drop onto the end of it, sitting, crossing her legs, causing the slit in her dress to reveal her thigh. Violet could see the stockings, strings of a garter belt, black lacy underwear and swallowed hard before fully facing Katya again.

Katya smiled at her lightly while moving her arms behind herself to support her weight, Violet could see her chest rising and falling while some loose hair was cascading around her collarbones that seemed to be more prominent and her entire skin seemed to be even more golden than previously.

She looked Violet up and down once slowly, her eyes filled with desire. “Strip.”

“What?”

“Strip, Violet. Do the burlesque thing.”

They stared at each other for a moment and Violet’s brain needed a moment to deal with this mood swing. Katya looked a bit concerned now before her eyes looked down Violet’s body and she got back up again.

“You don’t have to do anything, baby, but I would like to see you all pretty and naked and all of this-” she let her hand run over the material of Violet’s tight overall “-on the ground.” Violet nodded slowly, Katya continued to talk. “And if you’re good I might have a little surprise for you.” A smack to Violet’s ass, a wicked smile before she slowly walked to the door, leaving a slightly perplexed Violet. “Pick a song, I’ll be right back.”

Violet didn’t really know what to make out of all this and she knew even less when Katya returned with a small bag, no doubt containing whatever she wore for sleeping, Violet wondered whether it would be a pretty lacy negligé or something satin, and her toiletries. What Violet had not been expecting however was the strap on Katya pulled out and presented to her with wiggling eyebrows.

“Why do you even have this? Who did you plan on fucking here?”

“You.”

“You didn’t even know I’d be here.”

“Well, Raja mentioned someone that would be here that sounded an awful lot like you when I met her but I couldn’t ask because I was with David. But I thought about you being here and then I thought about making you scream and then I went out and bought this and decided to bring it. Just in case,” Katya explained nonchalantly. “I come prepared.” Violet wanted to wipe that smug grin of her face.

“Huh.”

“Are you up for it?”

Violet looked at the strap on and imagined Katya wearing it, sliding it over her tanned, strong thighs and pounding into Violet. Katya looked at Violet carefully before a small, knowing smile broke out on her face. She walked to where Violet was standing and kissed her softly.

“I’ll fuck you with it so hard that you won’t even remember your own name. But you have to be good, baby,” Katya said now in a lower voice. 

And Violet’s legs got weak, she felt herself getting wet just from the thought of Katya strapping it on, towering over her, beautiful and golden and strong, and fucking her into the mattress hard. A smirk broke out on her face. She made a detour towards her phone where she had picked out one of her old songs she used to perform to, Video Games by Lana del Rey. She tried not to cringe at the quality her phone speaker were offering and made her way towards Katya who was now standing in front of the bed again.

The song was all slow and sensual and sexual and Violet matched her walk to it. She stopped in front of Katya and turned around.

“You have to help me out of this first, I can’t climb out of this sensually.”

“Mhm, you’re already failing.” Katya smiled before spinning Violet around, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder and peeling Violet out of the tight garment. It shouldn’t have been sexy, it was all giggles and Violet shimmying out of the tight garment while hanging off of Katya. Maybe it wasn’t sexy but nice and warm and familiar.

“Okay, let’s start this over,” Violet laughed before skipping back to the start of the song and walking to Katya once again. They had time, they had time, they had time for the first time since meeting each other.

She slowly opened Katya’s zipper and let her dress fall to the ground before turning her around and pressing her front against Katya’s back, letting her hands slip under the bra, softly moving over Katya’s nipple, feeling Katya’s head drop against her own shoulder, mouth open just the littlest bit, eyes closed. Violet swayed against her with the beat for a moment, finger still on the soft skin of Katya’s breast before spinning her back around and pushing her onto the bed roughly.

Katya caught herself and got comfortable, pupils wide, not leaving Violet’s body and taking in every inch.

“So,” she said lowly with a grin spreading on her face and Violet wanted her so much. “Strip.”

Taking of clothes wasn’t considered as an art form by most but Violet considered it as the one art she had perfectly mastered. They way she swayed her hips, all soft, slow, rolled her stockings down teasingly, the way she let her hair cascade down her back, every move was perfect and Violet knew it.  
Could tell that she was perfect in the way Katya swallowed hard, the way she crossed her legs, the way Violet could see the change in her breathing. Bathed in the sharp inhale Katya took when Violet dropped her bra, saw her eyes zeroing in on the piercing going right through Violet’s left nipple. Katya hadn’t seen it yet because Violet never wore it around her husband but the way Katya was looking at her with lust made violet glad she had decided to put it in this morning before leaving. She thought that maybe she could get off just from Katya’s lustful gaze and doubted she had ever been this wet, felt it slightly on her thigh.

“That will be enough,” Katya choked out before getting up from the bed and attacking Violet’s lips, her body in fury. Katya never really was one to be soft but fingers digging in the naked skin of Violet’s ass, biting down on her lip, fingers sliding into her without a warning was new and thrilling. And Violet knew that she had to cover up the bruises and hickeys tomorrow but she could not bring herself to care, not when Katya’s fingers inside her were making her legs weak.

Katya seemed to finally find mercy in herself and pushed Violet onto the bed. Violet had somehow managed to tear Katya’s bra off of her in all the frenzy but even the minute Katya spend with taking of the remainder of her clothes and stepping into the strap on seemed to stretch on.

“Kat.” Violet’s voice was so weak and Katya didn’t seem to hurry up, instead just grinned at Violet. “Kat, need you now.” Violet heard how whiny, how desperate she sounded, could hear Katya let out a shaky breath and knew that Katya wanted her just as much, was going out of her mind just as much.

She finally finished putting the strap on on and crawled onto the bed, towering over Violet.  
Her head moved down to lick over Violet’s pierced nipple once, Violet shuddered involuntarily.

“It’s so sensitive,” Katya breathed out and locked eyes with Violet before kissing her rough again. And Violet loved this, loved how Katya could be so soft but then so dominant, so hard and oh how much she needed her.

“Kat,” she whimpered again and Katya cursed under her breath before letting her forehead rest against Violet and Violet could feel the head of the strap on at her entrance.

“Say please.” Katya’s voice was low and raspy and Violet felt it to the core.

They just looked at each other for a moment and Katya pushed into Violet once, fully, hard, before pulling out completely. “Say please.” Her voice was thick with dominance now and and Violet wrapped her arms around her, dug her fingernails into her shoulderblades.

“Kat, please.” 

“Good baby,” Katya whispered before placing a chaste kiss onto Violet’s lips.

“Katya, Kat. Please, please, please.”

And then she was fucking her without mercy and Violet’s brain seemed unable to form any words apart from Katya’s name and soft pleading’. Each word was met with a thrust, deep and hard and filling, until Katya couldn’t take it anymore and just let her head drop against Violet’s shoulder and sped up the rhythm.

“Violet, Vi, God, fuck, Vi.” And Violet thought that the world could never be that bad if she was lucky enough to hear the voice of the woman she loved moaning her name while she was fucking her, while she was loving Violet.

She could feel her orgasmn build up, could tell from the way Katya was moaning into Violet’s shoulder, from the way her fingers were digging into Violet’s hipbones that she was close.

“Vi,” Katya plead and Violet didn’t know what Katya was pleading for so she just kissed her. Kissed her hard, kissed her soft, kissed her through both their orgasms, kissed her until Katya pulled out and took the strap on off.

She kissed her again once she was lying next to Violet and felt Katya smile into the kiss while her hands were at the back of Violet’s neck and at her waist and Violet doubted she had ever been this happy.

“Thank you,” she whispered against Katya’s lips.

Katya leaned back slightly and stroked some hair out of Violet’s face. “We all need a good fuck from time to time.”

Violet placed a soft peck at the corner of Katya’s lips. “Not for that. Though…” she grinned at Katya who just grinned back. “I meant for everything, I-”

“I know. I know, baby. Me too,” Katya cut her off before kissing Violet again.

Violet tore her lips away this time. “What do you say about getting all cleaned up and getting all this-“ she gestured towards both their faces with messy make up “off before we get too cozy?”

Katya just grumbled and pulled Violet closer.

“I have a tub,” Violet said and Katya loosened her grip.

Bathing with someone was logistically challenging. The bathtub was a bit small and Violet could feel her make up melting with sweat and steam and her hair wass wet and flat against her forehead, her shoulders, against Katya. She was sitting in between Katya's legs, her boobs pressed against Violet's back, her arms around Violet. It wasn’t sexual but it was intimate and vulnerable in a way Violet wasn't used to and usually wanted to run from.

It wasn’t until later, wrapped up around each other and the sheets, their naked bodies still warm from the bath pressed against each other, some bullshit movie on the TV that Violet realised that this was the sort of intimacy Katya wasn’t used to either.

"You have a lash," Violet said while carefully taking the lash from Katya’s cheek.

"Wait." Violet grabbed Katya's face with one hand and picks the lash that previously rested against Katya’s skin up on her index finger.

Katya gently took Violet's wrist and brought the finger with the lash close to her mouth. She closed her eyes, there were fine lines appearing at the edges of her eyes, and blew the lash off of Violets finger. Violet blinked at her slightly confused but with a small smile.

"Gotta make a wish," Katya smiled before releasing Violet's hand.

It threw Violet off that Katya who always seems to be a little at war with the world would make a wish on a lash, believe in superstition like that. But there was something about it that seemed natural and Violet realised that maybe believing in the good might be more Katya than being at war with everything and everyone, realised that the world had made her hard.  
She marvelled at the realisation that Katya was being soft with her and that she liked falling asleep with her arms around her, with her soft hair against her skin, with her warm body against her own, with her low and deep breaths, with her talking quietly in her sleep, with upon waking up finding out how Katya looked all confused and sleepy and cute in the morning, with how she would kiss Violet good morning and good night, with just how much Violet loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you made it till here ;) Thanks for reading either way!! hope you liked it xx


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo... this isnt as long as it could've been but more is on its way and might not take actual months this time lol. Motivation and Inspo and Headcanons are always welcome (https://pollynightin.tumblr.com/ask) but I hope you all enjoy and this actually has 31 subscriptions which is so so wild to me so thank you for everyone that reads and gives kudos and ESPECIALLY to the people commenting!! You're the real MVP's. Ok that's all and now enjoy (or just skip the authors note, thats what i always do lol)

**Before**

It’s early morning morning and the sun makes the baby hairs around Katya’s face look golden and Violet calls her beautiful. She tells Katya that her parents are in jail, that most her family is in jail, that her parents were con artists and that Violet has stopped calling a long time ago when they have breakfast half an hour later. Katya just nods but doesn't look surprised. Sometimes Violet forgets that Katya didn’t grow up as a pretty spoiled princess either.

"I came to America because my uncle sold me to settle a debt," she says instead.

There's a pause that stretches on for a long time. Katya starts to look uncomfortable.

"Sold you?" Violet asks slowly.

"Yeah."

Violet pauses again and tries to figure out how to just brush over human trafficking but finds it kind of hard to drop it. "How? Why? What? When?" she blurts out instead.

Katya laughs a little now. "He was in a gang or the mafia or something. I actually never found out. One day he comes to our house and tells my mom he's going to America and that I should come because there's a lot of opportunities there and you know.... my mom…," she pauses for a moment "she loved me a lot so she said yes. She didn’t know. She couldn’t have known and she meant well. But there I was, 16 years old and in a plane for the first time and I thought that nothing can be this bad when the world can look this small. Then my uncle bought me to a crack house slash brothel slash all things illegal and said 'those people will take care of you Yekaterina. Be good.'" She deepens her voice when she says that and smiles, fucking smiles when talking about her uncle pimping her out. "And then I was there until I was 18 and it was pretty bad." She doesn't go into detail and Violet imagines horrible things and knows that it probably was ten times worse. "When I was 18 I was legal and they upgraded me and then I was a high class Russian whore. That's how I met David." She shrugs her shoulders and takes a bite of her blueberry muffin and her and Violet stare at each other for a moment, Violet with furrowed brows and Katya almost expectantly while chewing. "It wasn't that bad," she adds after another long moment, looking almost sorry.

"Right," Violet breathes out quickly when she realises that a long time has passed without her saying anything.

It was bad but it’s too similar to the stories Violet has heard before, stories of her cousins, her friends from school and Violet knows that Katya knows it’s bad too but it's easier to not acknowledge some things sometimes. And Violet understands how Katya can stay in her abusive relationship for years. This is better than before and sometimes better is as good as it gets.

Christian calls her some time later to tell her that he’s sending a driver for later in the day to get Violet because his parents are coming to town and Violet wants to cry because somehow his mother is even worse than Christian himself.  
Katya draws lazy patterns on Violet’s arm and tells her she’s going to be okay. She looks sorry and so much younger when she kisses Violet goodbye later and tries to tell both of them that it will be alright.

-

The winter passes in one cold, sad blur. Violet runs into Katya once two days before Christmas and they go for coffee and Katya complains about how for David it all seems to be about money and fancy parties and expensive gifts.

“Our Christmas would be different,” she says.

“Our as in your and my Christmas?”

Katya blinks at her for a moment. “Yeah, your and my Christmas. I think it would be nice.”

“I don’t like Christmas,” Violet says before taking a sip of the hot chocolate with cinnamon Katya had forced her to get while telling her _‘to shut the fuck up about fat percentages and get in the holiday spirit, Violet.’_

Katya grabs onto Violet’s underarm with both her hands and looks at Violet manically. “What?”

“I….,” Violet looks at Katya’s face intensely and is suddenly feeling like she’s saying the wrong thing. “...never liked Christmas?”

Katya lets go of Violet’s atm and throws her hands up in surrender with an accompanying groan and Violet thinks she’s being a bit dramatic. “But why? I mean I get that it’s grossly intertwined with capitalism over here but it’s about love and family and all that. Who would hate that?”

“I never said I hate it, I-“

“You didn’t say you love it either, you actually said you never-“

“Can you not interrupt me? I said I don’t like it. It’s not like I hate it.”

Katya is quiet for a moment. “But… why?”

Violet shrugs her shoulders. “My parents were criminals and apparently Christmas was the busiest time of the year. So I spend Christmas at my neighbor's house. But Pearl’s mom was a drug addict so it wasn’t really that great either.”

“Pearl is a stupid name.”

“You’re only saying that because I told you I had sex with her once.”

“Maybe so.”

Violet only grins back and Katya shakes her head slowly but Violet can see the smile in the corner of her lips.

“Anyway,” Katya continues with an eye roll “if you and I would have Christmas together we’d do it all. Bake all the Christmas cookies, decorate the tree, decorate all the cookies, watch Christmas movies, eat all the Christmas cookies and-“

“What the fuck that’s so domestic. Are you alright,hon?” Violet grins and puts her hand up against Katya’s forehead and pretends to check for her temperature.

Katya bats her hand away with a small laugh. She takes Violet’s hand in between both of her own. “You’re awful,” she says and smiles.

They talk about everything and nothing and Christmas a lot and it’s nice, so nice but then David picks Katya up and his stares make Violets skin crawl. 

-

She sees Katya twice after their coffee date. Both times at parties and they can't really talk but Katya doesn't look fully miserable and that has to do for now.

When spring comes to New York so does Violet's cousin Kurtis. Christian suddenly has a business trip that lasts the entirety of Kurtis' stay. Precisely. Christian tells her to just take Katya to brunch with Kurtis instead and Violet tries to not look too pleased. 

Kurtis spends most of the brunch watching Violet and Katya. He kicks Violet under the table once and whispers something about non existing subtlety in her ear while Katya is ordering another coffee.

It’s a bit later, when all three of them are done eating and decided to go shopping that he takes Violet to the side while Katya is trying on shoes on the other side of the store.

"You love her," he says matter of factly.

Violet laughs nervously, glances at Katya and forces Kurtis to try on six pairs of shoes and buys them all. He tries to refuse but Violet insists and mumbles something about birthdays or christmases and it it feels like hush money that she knows won't work on Kurtis because he would've never told anyone in the first place.

He doesn't let it go either though. They're sitting on the sofa, legs entangled while watching Mean Girls, 15 years old Violet's favourite, when he brings Katya up again.

He puts a hand just above Violet's knee and looks very serious suddenly. “I just want you to be happy, Vi." He looks at her for a moment before looking back to the TV. "Money can't buy happiness."

Violet doesn't answer but thinks about their talk long after he left and well into the next year.  
She shakes the truthfulness of his words of. Money can't buy happiness. But money can buy comfort and comfort is better than the crippling feeling of there never being enough to go around.

-

The sun in southern France is warm on Violet’s skin, so much warmer than she had ever expected for it only being May. She doesn't know if it is always like this here, has never been to France, has never even been to Europe except for her three day honeymoon trip to Stockholm that Christian had mindfully connected with a business trip a few months back. But that had been last spring and Stockholm was nothing like the azur blue ocean and the view of Marseille in the background she was having now.  
And Violet loves the ocean, loves how wide it is and is a bit pissed of that Katya doesn’t have the same view now. At least she was on board of the boat too, actually driving it; a fact that confused Violet beyond belief. To give up that kind of control to Katya didn’t struck her as very on par with David’s character. She watches as he takes another sip of champagne and looks on as his face goes sour for a split second and she knows that he will never get used to the taste of it, that he hasn’t been raised on champagne, oysters, monthly trips overseas and that he never feels like he belongs.

There is an army of rich, white people living in the upper class of New York and whose families have been there for the longest time. There is an army of people whose upbringings, motives, movements Violet might never understand. The cold sentences, stiff handshakes, fake smiles, deluded friendships, empty promises and judging stares made Violet’s skin crawl.  
Christian is one of them. Violet can tell that the guests that came with them onto the yacht were too. Violet knows how to pretend she is one of them. Katya tries hard to make sure that they don’t even get the idea that she is one of them. David isn’t one of them and never will be.  
He is all new money; laughs at inappropriate times, reads all social clues wrong, wore the wrong shoes with his belt one too many times. He is almost as out of place as Violet and Katya.  
But David has the money, is in fact richer than some of the people he associates with. It doesn’t change anything. In such a small group it was evident that he could never possibly close the gap he doesn’t even know exists.  
This might be his boat but the conversation would never be his. 

Violet watches him intently and she doesn’t get him but is intrigued by this economical genius that much like Katya grew up on a farm and understands a bit why Katya had once thought that David would be her saviour, that they were a bit the same. 

Violet would love to hear Katya’s thoughts on everything. She wants to know Katya’s thoughts on most things these days, could spend days talking to her, finds everything about her endlessly fascinating. She wishes Katya would be upstairs now, especially upon seeing how David grows angrier, uneasier every time Christian talks over him and Violet has no doubt that Katya would be the one to pay for that at the end of the day in one way or another. 

David catches her staring and his facial expression lightens. He throws her a smile that she fears is supposed to be flirtatious. Her stomach clenches. 

“I’m glad you came with us today, Violet,“ he speaks suddenly, slowly, while letting his eyes move over Violet’s almost nude body and she wishes to have something to cover the tiny bikini. 

She tears her gaze away from him, taking a sip of champagne while her hand is shaking lightly.

Christian clears his throat glares at Violet in a fashion that she know means that somehow this is her fault. 

“Violet, you can leave us alone now. We have business to attend.“ 

It’s not a request, not even a question. It’s an order and normally Violet would feel anger boiling up but for once she is glad. She just wants away. 

Away from David’s stares, the predatory grins the other two men have on their faces when Violet rises from her sitting position, away from Christian’s clenched jaw and constructed cold expression.

Violet holds tightly onto her own glass of champagne and quickly moves down the stairs to where she assumes Katya is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment? xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! come chat to me at pollynightin.tumblr.com <3
> 
> If you leave a comment, I'll love you forever! Xx


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